Yo quiedo a bi babá*
Así, como la chiquita del anuncio de Tabcín. Porque, aparte del resfriado incipiente que me gasto, en serio yo quiero a mi papá. Mucho síndrome de Electra?
Lo que pasa es que, hace más de 3 semanas, me encargué unas varas de Compramérica. Craso error. De veras, nunca compren nada de Compramérica. Jueputa sal.
Por qué? Porque llevo más de 22 días esperando que lleguen y, a pesar de que llevan como 4 días de que cada vez que llamo me dicen que "hoy le llegan", hoy me di cuenta de que aún están en Miami. Osea, salgan jetones.
Y mientras tanto a mí me toca esperar como la imbécil más grande a que lleguen mis cositas que con tantísima fiebre deseo, porque por supuesto que existen ciertas cosas que sólo me pasan a mí.
Entonces ayer se me salió el Víquez Murillo y al maje de Compramérica le tocó conocerme. Porque claro, como yo soy excesiva y enfermizamente educada con quienes me atienden, más que todo por teléfono, el muy sorompo seguro pensaba que me iba a bailar. Entonces ayer no soporté más y terminé diciéndole hasta de lo que iba a morir. Por supuesto, igual no podía ir a donde él porque yo trabajo y voy a la U, muchas gracias, entonces el muy hijuepé me dijo que me devolvía la llamada y, obviamente, no lo hizo.
Pero ese pobre incauto no sabía lo que estaba haciendo. Porque yo siempre he sido una resuelveproblemas: yo siempre tengo que tener todo bajo mi control, y realmente no me gusta acudir a nadie para que me ayude porque tengo ese insoportable complejo de Superchica que todo lo puede (y lo tiene) que hacer sola. Así son las varas conmigo. Lo cual es un poco molesto para los demás que no pueden hacer otra cosa que quedarse paradotes viendo cómo yo me emto por un huequito y me salgo por el otro hasta que a. logro resolver la situación, o 2. me ahogo del colerón mientras le doy las quejas a mi mamá que a su vez se las da a mi papá para que vaya y le haga ojos de loco a ese descarado porque vea que están estafando a su hija, por amor a Dios.
Y eso fue lo que pasó hoy: al ver que estaba fracasando miserablemente en mi tarea de obligar a estos imbéciles a que aparecieran mis cositas aquí ya, hoy, o me devolvieran el dinero, tuve que recurrir a la artillería pesada: mi Papito. Si, mi padre que trabaja en Delitos Económicos y Financieros del OIJ y que sabe de aduanas y de un montón de cosas más, y que, más importante que cualquier otra cosa, siempre está dispuesto a venir a mi rescate.
Yo quiedo a bi babá.
*O: El primer post desde hace quién sabe cuánto que no trata acerca de vómito o alguna cosa relacionada con el embarazo, porque ya está bueno, ok?
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